21.1 Introduction
As a wedding planner, you might be asked to make the arrangements for the couple’s stag and hen nights.In this module, you will learn the ins and outs of planning a great night out or weekend away. You will also learn how to deal with the intricacies of planning a great party for a large group.
21.2 Should we Stay or Should We Go?
When you’re planning a stag or hen do, you will need to find out whether the party will happen locally or further away.This decision will be made primarily based on the budget for the party. Typically, it costs more to go away somewhere than it does to stay at home. It will also depend on the availability of the guests. If all of the guests have demanding jobs and kids, you will be less likely to plan a weekend away.
Typical weekends away might include trips to other UK cities. Liverpool, Newcastle and Glasgow are popular for nights out because they offer cheap accommodation, thriving nightlife and cheap drink prices. However, a weekend away might also include a spa weekend in the Lake District or a shopping weekend in London.
Going further afield is very popular with many British couples. How many ‘Josie’s Hen Do Ibiza 2k15’ t-shirts do you see every single time you go to the airport? And who could forget the incessant chanting of Lads on Tour?
Spain is a very popular destination for stag and hen nights. Barcelona and the Spanish islands are the most popular destinations. The availability of good and inexpensive alcohol and the sunny weather makes it a great place for both men and women to host weekends away. Other popular destinations include Krakow and Prague for the cheap drink and the even cheaper hedonism.
When you’re planning a weekend away, you will usually be coordinating flights and hotels for the group. It is also best to hire transfers for the group to and from the airport. The group will be in a party mood, and the party often starts at their home airport. You will want to do the best you can to accommodate them and get them to the essential places without incident.
You may also organise activities for the group while they are there. For example, you might book tours or pub crawls. These destinations have no shortage of organised nights out. You can even hire a private tour guide to take them around the best bars and nightlife areas.
Unless it is requested, try not to over plan. Most groups will see this as a weekend to get drunk and relax. They probably don’t want a behind the scenes Picasso tour at 8:30am on a Saturday. But, make sure you ask if there are any cultural events or tours that they want you to book for them.
If you are planning a weekend abroad, make sure that all the attendees have a valid passport. Believe it or not, people do turn up at the airport without one. Adding it to a pre-party checklist gives everyone time to get a passport or have theirs renewed.
21.3 Planning the Perfect Hen or Stag Do
If you’re staying near or not travelling so far, and you are planning a traditional hen do, you need to begin with who to invite.You will usually get this list from the bride or from the maid of honour, who is usually left in charge of this party.
When to Party
A good night out should be held at least a week before the wedding. This gives everyone time to recover from any alcohol or rifts that may have occurred during the weekend. The weekend should be chosen a few months in advance so that you can maximise attendance. Make sure that you send out a save the date card to the guest list. You may even include an RSVP if you’re making reservations.
Budgeting
You’re also going to need to set up a budget for the party. This can be tricky because the bride typically doesn’t pay for the night. Often, the maid of honour works out the budget with the other bridesmaids. The budget is hard because it has to balance the full expense of the party with different people while still trying to throw a special night for the bride. The maid of honour will also usually collect the money from attendees.
Before the party, you might want to send an email to guests that includes the breakdown of the costs per person. If the party only costs 50 pound per person, this is less important. But if you’re asking each guest to hand over a few hundred pounds, they’re going to want to know what they’re spending it on. Being as transparent as possible will prevent people from becoming agitated and wanting to know where their money went.
Activities
Planning a night out can also be tricky because there are several audiences to cater to. One of the most difficult parts of planning a hen night is finding something to do that the bride’s 25 year old cousins and 65 year old aunts will both want to do. The best thing that you can do is plan a group activity that everyone can enjoy. Avoid events that would isolate any particular age group. For example, you should avoid booking paintball for the group if half the audience is over 50. You might also avoid booking striptease classes if the bride’s conservative family will be in attendance.
A few great ideas for hen parties include:- Spa weekend
- Nights out
- Glamping
- Tea parties
- Zen party
- GBBO party
- Outdoor adventures
- Bedtime Story Nights at 40 Winks Hotel
- Theatre nights
- Murder mystery nights
- Dance classes
- Hen parties at home
A few great ideas for stag dos include:- 5 a side football
- Bubble football
- Shooting
- Beer bikes
- Comedy clubs
- Go Karting
- Adult clubs
- Hiking
- Camping
- Casino nights
Scheduling
You also need to be realistic about the schedule for the party. Creating an action packed day or weekend may sound fun in theory. But, if you send a group of women jet skiing for two hours and then give them half an hour to get back to the hotel, get changed and get dolled up for a night on the town, it just won’t happen. Make sure that your reservations allow for extra time to prepare for each event and don’t forget to include travel time.
Additionally, you may want to send out a basic itinerary. The party is supposed to be a fun day to celebrate. People get stressed out quickly if they don’t know where they are going and when. You might also include a meeting point and a point of contact from the wedding party for lost or confused guests.
In this email, it is a good idea to include all of the necessary information for the weekend. You should let the guests know what they need to bring. Even if the activities are supposed to be a surprise, it is not a surprise hike if none of the men brought any hiking shoes, coats other necessary items.
Fancy Dress
Fancy dress parties are some of the most recognisable. While they’re the groups whose carriage you avoid on the train, people love to throw them because they’re fun to be a part of. They’re also great for partying in large groups because it is easy to find one another again should the party get separated.
If there is a fancy dress theme, this should be included on the invitation or in a separate email before the event. If the theme is elaborate, make sure you give the group plenty of time to pull a costume together.
Should I Hire a Stripper?
That is completely dependent on the couple. Both stag and hen dos might request that you find a butler in the buff, topless waitress, a beer wench or just a full blown stripper. Only hire a stripper if you have had the go ahead from whoever is in charge of handling the party.
If the couple has expressed to you that they prefer to keep their parties clean, but their mates have other ideas, it is a good idea to ask the couple’s permission first. They wouldn’t be the first maid of honour or best man to get carried away in the wedding planning. It is better to put a stop to it before it happens than let the group deal with the damage that can come from dealing with a surprise like naked strangers.
A good alternative is to encourage them to get the group into a strip club rather than hiring a stripper directly. This way, the guest of honour can back out without finding a half-naked fireman in the hall. This is also better than hiring a stripper to come to a pub. Not only will the pub be unlikely to accommodate that particular request, but it makes the whole group look bad should some of the singles be trying to pull.
21.4 Planning a Joint Stag and Hen Do
The STEN Party. It is here and you will have requests for it.A STEN party is a joint stag and hen do. The benefits of a STEN do are numerous. It allows couples to celebrate together and allows them to celebrate with all their mutual friends, rather than being segregated by gender.
STEN parties are also popular because couple’s spend longer together now before they get married. Hence, their last night of freedom was many moons ago. It also allows the parties to combine budgets and thus be bigger and better than it could be on their own.
Most of the time, couples will go their separate ways during the day and then reunite in the evening. However, this can happen the other way around as well. There is nothing stopping the group from hanging out all day either!
STEN parties work best when everyone is happy to be there, and the theme or activity is gender neutral. Casino nights, dinners, and hikes are great ideas for STEN parties.
STEN parties are great when it is the couple’s idea. But sometimes they happen because of trust issues or because only one person wants it. It is not your job to negotiate between the couple, but be wary of this when you are working on the party.
Also, with such a big group, make sure the day is busy and balanced. You want to avoid as much Eastenders-esque drama as possible for the sake of the happy couple.
