18.1 Introduction
When the subject of wedding gifts comes up, as a wedding planner, you will have a role in this, too.There are several types of gifts that are given at a wedding, including the gifts the bride and groom give to their bridal party, which you will assist them with. In addition, it is your responsibility to help the couple write their gift list and to keep the gifts safe at the end of the night following the reception.
18.2 A Wedding Planner Helps With Wedding Party Gifts
One of the roles that a wedding planner has, is to help the bride and groom choose the gifts for their wedding party.
Keep the following in mind as you help the bride and groom choose their gifts:Gifts for the Bridal Party
There is no specific timeline for shopping for bridesmaid gifts, but it’s better to buy them sooner rather than later, and in general, experts suggest that this should be done one to two months before the wedding.
When it comes to the cost of the gift, you want to direct the bride to think about two things – what their budget will allow and how much the bridesmaids are spending to be in your wedding. In most cases, the first question is easy to answer, as you will have a good idea as to what the budget is for the wedding. However, it is also important for the bride to consider what the bridesmaids are contributing to the wedding, financially. The average cost of a bridesmaid’s dress is about £150, and when adding the cost of shoes, accessories, the hen’s night, gifts and more, it is well over £400 – £500 in most cases. When you think of it this way, the £25 pair of champagne flutes the bride has her eye on may seem a bit ungracious.
Remind the bride that she is not expected to cover what the bridesmaids spent, but it should be a gift that says “I appreciate you and the time you have put into my wedding.” If the bridesmaids have spent roughly £400 due to the wedding, the bride should focus on spending £100 – £150 for a gift. However, the chief bridesmaid traditionally receives a gift that is a bit more lavish, as she plays a bigger role in the planning of the wedding. The bride will also have to purchase gifts for flower girls, if she has them, though these gifts can be at a lesser cost.
Men have it a bit easier. The average cost for ushers gifts ranges from about £30 – £40, but the men also don’t make as much of a financial investment into the wedding.When to Give the Gifts
There are a few times that the bride and groom should traditionally give the bridal party their gifts. If there is a rehearsal dinner, the couple may choose to give the gifts at that point, or if they don’t, they might give the gift whilst everyone is getting ready. Other brides and grooms may decide to give these gifts at the reception following the wedding. The bottom line is that it comes down to when the couple believes the time is right, though, as the wedding planner, you should ensure that this time is appropriate.What to Choose for the Gifts
Before jumping into gift buying for the wedding party, it is best to give the couple some advice regarding what to choose. Remember, what works for one person may not work for another, so you should remind the couple that they don’t need to buy all of their wedding party the same gift, but they should make sure all of the gifts are in the same price range.
When it comes to choosing the gift, make sure the couple knows the gift should be multifunctional and timeless. However, you also don’t want to encourage the couple to purchase jewellery, for instance, that will be worn at the wedding. This is more of an accessory than a gift. However, if they are dead set on buying accessories for the wedding, they can purchase a beautiful jewellery box or cleaning machine to go with it. Also, make sure to ask the couple if they would want these gifts before they buy them for their closest friends or family. There are a lot of cute ideas out there for wedding party gifts, but they are not practical. Sure, the chief bridesmaid may think the monogrammed plate the bride gives her is beautiful, but odds are, she will not find it to be a practical gift.18.3 A Wedding Planner Helps With The Wedding Gift List
Another responsibility that the wedding planner has when assisting a couple with the wedding, is helping them to write a gift list.As with most wedding tasks, the gift list is based on tradition, and there are a few notes on etiquette that the bride and groom must be aware of before writing out the list.
First, you should talk to the couple about the types of gifts they are interested in. Since there are so many couples who have a home and live together before marrying, these days, couples don’t have as much of a need for toasters and towels. Therefore, more couples are interested in asking for money for their gift, but again, as a wedding planner, it is your responsibility to ensure the money is asked for in the correct way.
Helping with a Physical Gift List
If the couple is interested in gifts, you will help them create a gift list. These days, the list is typically online, but you can also choose to designate a family member, such as the mother of the bride, to serve as a point person for those who wish to contact her to find out what the happy couple is looking for.
Some ways that you can help to facilitate the creation of the gift list is to sit with the couple and discuss how to create the list of their dreams. First, inform them that they should create the list sooner rather than later. Guests who are keen to start shopping may want to get a head start before receiving the list.
Another thing that you should talk to the couple about is the importance of making the gift list together. To decide what they need, ask them both to make a list, and then collaborate with each other to finalise the list. Also, make sure that the couple is choosing items that fit into all budgets.
For instance, there should be items in the £10 – £30 range all the way up to the £200 – £500 range and more, as some people may want to contribute to the gift as a group.
If doing the gift list online, advise the couple that there are a number of online services that help couples to keep all of their gift wishes in the same place. There are also department stores, such as Harrods, which allow couples to set up a list specific to that store. Make sure, if you do this, to advise the couple that they must include the gift list number or other identifying information, in the invitation, or guests will not know where to purchase gifts from.
Helping with a Monetary Gift List
If the couple is interested in money as a wedding gift, this should also be declared in the invitation, but there are certain ways to go about this, as some people believe that it’s rude to simply come out and ask for pounds and pence. If the money will go towards the couple’s honeymoon, this should also be stated in the invitation.
Here are a few ideas that you can give a couple when they are interested in these types of gifts:
“Having you at our wedding is the best gift we can think of, but if you wish to bring something, a honeymoon contribution would be greatly appreciated.”
“We are asking that guests do not bring gifts, as your presence is present enough. However, should you wish to contribute to our upcoming honeymoon, it will be received.”
“As you know, we have all we need for our home, and if you are planning on bringing a gift, please consider contributing money towards the purchase of our new __________.”
“Instead of accepting gifts for our wedding, we are asking any guest who is planning on bringing a present to make a donation towards our favourite charity, _____________.”
FACT
35% of couples ask for cash or vouchers
Source: bridesmagazine.co.uk18.4 A Wedding Planner Helps Track Gifts at the Reception
A wedding planner will also take on the responsibility of keeping track of the gifts at a reception, and ensuring the gifts are safe.As one can imagine, the gifts at a wedding have great value, both monetarily and sentimentally, and someone must ensure these gifts do not fall into the wrong hands. As a wedding planner, you should watch the gift table, especially when cash is involved, and hide the gifts away periodically. Ideally, these gifts should be placed into a locked room where guests do not have access. Only tell a couple of people, such as an usher or bridesmaid, where the gifts are and how to access them. The bride and groom will be too busy at the reception to take care of this on their own.
Module Summary
As the wedding planner, your role with the gifts is varied, but extremely important. There are a number of people who have questions about gifts when it comes to planning their wedding, and you can help them through this confusing time with etiquette, tradition and more.[Tweet “I just completed Module 18 of the Wedding Planning Course”]
