2.1 Introduction
When most people think about weddings, they think about a big white dress in a little brown church followed by a dinner and drinks reception. It’s true that this is the kind of wedding that we most often see in Britain, especially if it’s the kind of wedding our friends throw.
But, this is far from the only type of wedding that is popular. In fact, you might find that these kinds of weddings begin to be replaced by civil ceremonies, location weddings, non-traditional weddings and weddings in religions outside of the Church of England.
Getting to know and understand the different types of wedding ceremonies available to people is essential to becoming a wedding planner in Britain.
While Britain becomes a more diverse country, it is also becoming secular. However, people do hold on to many different traditions when it comes to ceremonies.
Understanding religious ceremonies, civil ceremonies and non-traditional ceremonies is important when becoming a wedding planner because these are the most common ceremonies you will find in Britain.
However, don’t be surprised if you begin planning weddings that incorporate elements from all three!
2.2 Religious Ceremonies
Britain is becoming increasingly more secular, but religious ceremonies still play a central role in the world of weddings.From Catholics getting married in their local church to a traditional Buddhist ceremony, each one will come with its unique quirks, history and traditions.
Today, it’s not so common that both members of the couple will be practising members of the religion they follow. Further, it is now more common to find that both members of the couple follow a different religion. Alternatively, one may declare themselves as being religious, while the other person isn’t religious at all.
Yet, people do carry some of the religious traditions into the future with them, even if they don’t believe or practice the religion at all. These traditions give them a sense of history and belonging and can make the ceremony a more emotional experience.
As a wedding planner, you don’t exist to make sure the couple can sort out their religious differences.
You may, however, find yourself liaising with different types of religious leaders. Depending on the church or religious building they wish to get married in, you may find that the couple either needs to be a member of the church or have a historical tie to the church. Many religious buildings are unwilling to accept unaffiliated couples for services or ceremonies in the building. You must always ask early and never assume that a booking fee will get you in.
Wedding planners should always be mindful of the different ways a religious ceremony can affect the timing of the day. A Church of England ceremony is much shorter than a Catholic mass. This is important to know because it will have a knock on effect to how you schedule the rest of the day.
Further, if a client comes to you wanting to know if you can plan their wedding for them and they announce that they are part of a particular religion, it helps to know a little about what the ceremony entails. Even better, try to learn something about the religion itself so that more of the planning process will be familiar to you.
Small pieces of knowledge can make a big difference to the way you carry out your duties as a wedding planner. They can help you to find the right vendors and make relevant suggestions to your clients. When the client does not have to teach you about the kind of wedding they want to throw, this will help you all to get started with the planning faster.
Understanding these different cultural traditions is also good so that you can avoid offending people by seeming culturally insensitive. For example, knowing that certain types of meat can’t be served to certain religious parties will prevent you from causing offence when selecting caterers and putting them forward to the happy couple.
The following list contains the most common religious ceremonies that you might experience in the UK.Christian
Catholic and Protestant ceremonies are the kind of weddings that many Britons are familiar with, either through attending one or from watching them on their favourite TV programmes. Most of these ceremonies will take place in a religious building; however, all that is required for a Christian ceremony is for a minister, priest or pastor to be there to solemnise the marriage.
Muslim
Muslim weddings in the UK will vary heavily depending on where the couple is from. It usually consists of an Islamic ceremony, which is officiated by an imam. However, Muslims come from a huge variety of backgrounds. Turks, Africans, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Europeans and Asian Muslims will all have different wedding traditions.
Hindu
There is no typical Hindu wedding ceremony. It will all be up to the individual couple and their families. Some Hindu wedding ceremonies will last for days, while others will only last for four hours. A Hindu wedding is almost always a party for a large group of people, so you can expect to be looking for a venue that can accommodate many people.
Jewish
There are large Jewish populations in the UK. Most of the big communities live in London, Manchester and Glasgow. Understanding different Jewish wedding traditions is a good idea for wedding planners because they can range from being very traditional to being more relaxed.
2.3 Civil Ceremonies
Civil ceremonies are becoming more popular among Britons.As mentioned previously, Britain is becoming an increasingly secular country. Because of this, many couples may choose to forgo the religious element of their ceremony altogether. When this happens, it is usually the case that a superintendent registrar or justice of the peace oversees the proceedings, as opposed to a priest, imam, or someone similar.
Legally, a civil ceremony requires that the couple exchange formal vows to get married. These ceremonies must also not include any religious elements. There are no religious songs, music or readings allowed.
Civil ceremonies can take place at a register office, a religious premises or at a venue that has been approved by the Home Office or the local council. While some couples may assume that this means they’re restricted to local registry offices, this isn’t always the case. More and more hotels, stately homes, and other non-religious buildings and organisations are able to host wedding ceremonies. They often replace the beauty that many couples lose when they choose not to get married in a religious building.
Knowing which buildings in your area will allow a happy couple to get married without a religious element can make your life as a wedding planner much easier.
FACT
Civil ceremonies account for 70% of all marriages
Source: ons.gov.uk 2012Some couples may feel as though they like the ‘ritual’ element of weddings, but that they still don’t want a religious ceremony. When this happens, you may want to suggest that they consider a ‘humanist’ ceremony.
Humanism is a form of atheism. Rather than simply rejecting religious beliefs, it focuses on how there is an element of good within everyone. As a replacement for religious leaders, humanist officiants are available. A humanist wedding ceremony can retain much of the ‘traditional’ feel associated with a religious wedding but meets the needs of those who don’t want any religious involvement.
If you do choose to offer your clients a humanist wedding, do be advised that such ceremonies hold no legal status in England or Wales. However, humanist ceremonies are recognised in Scotland.
In the rest of the UK couples must also hold a ceremony at their local registry office to make the marriage legally valid.
2.4 Location Weddings
More and more couples are starting to reject the idea that they need to have a large ceremony that involves everyone and anyone they have ever known.When this happens, many instead choose to have a location wedding. From Las Vegas through to Venice, location weddings can be found all around the world. These weddings will often be smaller than a traditional ceremony, unless you are dealing with a client with a huge budget. Location weddings will be designed around the venue of the ceremony itself.
If you do assist a bride and groom with planning their location wedding and it’s based abroad, your role is likely to be quite limited.
Many hotels and travel agencies offering such weddings usually feature their own planners, which means you’ll probably be involved in the aspect of planning that can take part here in the UK. This may include engagement parties, a party for when the couple comes home, outfits, and a registry ceremony to make sure it’s official.
Location weddings can be thrown by people from any culture or background; however, they are more popular with people who want short, small ceremonies.
2.5 Non-traditional Weddings
There is no definition of a non-traditional wedding.A non-traditional wedding may be called this because it chooses a theme that is not often associated with weddings or is considered alternative. Non-traditional weddings come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, which means this is a very broad category indeed. Some choose to get married at festivals, others in the middle of a forest, and some couples have even chosen to get married underwater.
A non-traditional wedding may also be called this because it includes a non-traditional couple, a non-traditional venue or a non-traditional ceremony. The best rule of thumb for any wedding planner is not to approach an event with the thought that it is ‘non-traditional’. Just take the couple’s ideas as they come and have fun leaving the trends behind and taking on a more creative project!
The key thing you need to remember with these kinds of weddings is that you must check to ensure the couple’s mode of getting married will result in an actual marriage. If this is not the case, you should let them know and help them arrange a registry office wedding on the side.
Module Summary
Britain is a diverse country and as a wedding planner, you will often come into contact with all different kinds of cultures and belief systems. As a wedding planner, it is not your job to judge what is suitable for your idea of a wedding or party. Remember that you are there to make sure that everything runs smoothly. If the wedding runs without interruption, the happy couple can enjoy their special day in whatever way they see fit for themselves.
Increasing your knowledge of different cultures and religions at work in Britain will help you win clients because it will show that you are not only interested in diversity, but that you are committed to your craft.
