3.1 Introduction
Weddings as we know them in Britain can be vastly different from the wedding traditions that exist around the world.Every culture has its own traditions in the way that they celebrate the institution of marriage.
The British ritual of dating, getting engaged and not enlisting the help of the entire family in the arrangements is something that is quite unique to Britain and Western Europe. The short lived ceremonies and parties are also different from many other traditions, which are steeped in both religion and local culture.
From the dating rituals to engagement customs to the big party on the wedding day, getting married is celebrated differently around the world. In this module, you will learn about the wedding customs of some of the largest ethnic minority groups in the UK: Indians, Pakistanis, Nigerians and Poles.
3.2 Indian Wedding Customs
Many Indian wedding customs derive from traditional Hindu culture.In Hinduism, marriage is an important rite of passage between the first stage of a person’s life and the second stage of their life. This new stage leaves childhood behind and focuses on the new adult household and having children.
Such an important rite of passage is often celebrated through many events over several days.
There is a lot of importance placed on creating children and continuing the family line in Hinduism. This explains why the festivities are so important to the families and the engaged couple. The festivities culminate in the celebration known as the vivaha samskara, or the wedding ceremony.
Hindu ceremonies are often very colourful. Many Indians feel the pressure to provide a huge party for their entire family. A lot of money is spent on weddings, and they can be a huge financial problem, depending on the size and the social status of the family.
There are not any official Indian customs because the culture is so diverse.
Some of the rituals will be celebrated by members of some castes, but not by others. However, there are broad categories that most people adhere to. These include rituals that happen before the marriage, the marriage ceremony itself and the rituals that take place after the marriage.
Pre-marriage rituals
During the pre-marriage rituals, families will gather together at the home of the bride’s family to hash out the details of the arrangement. They will usually set a date, choose the venue and create a formal marriage announcement known as the lagna patrika.
The ceremony
During the ceremony, the bride is usually given away by her father. The couple will also tie a knot that symbolises their marriage. They will also take seven steps around a fire altar together. In the meantime, a priest accompanies them and chants the appropriate chants in Sanskrit.
After the wedding
After the wedding, the party begins. To ease the tension and introduce fun into the air, traditional party games will be included. They will also celebrate with huge feasts, singing and dancing.
It is worth noting that many traditional Hindu or Indian marriages are arranged marriages. Even when a person dates and chooses their own partner, many couples still choose to be married in the traditional way.
3.3 Pakistani Customs
Pakistani weddings are very vibrant celebrations.Pakistani families on both sides like to pull out all the stops when they are celebrating the union between two people. There is a lot of excitement and glamour involved in a traditional wedding celebration.
Engagement ceremony
The first part of getting married in Pakistani culture is the engagement ceremony.
In Urdu, this ceremony is known as Mangni.
This ceremony could be a big event or a small affair. The size will usually depend on the size of the two families. At the very least, it includes the most important members of both the bride and the groom’s family. At the Mangni, the couple is blessed by the elders of their family. The date of the marriage is also decided at this event.
Before the wedding, some families will choose to participate in the Mayun ritual. During this ritual, the bride is kept away from all of her usual duties. For instance, she does not have to participate in the regular chores performed around the house. During the Mayun, the bride goes through a beauty treatment that is known as uptan. Uptan is a yellow paste that is mixed with oil. Then, the Mayun continues with a big feast, lots of laughter, dancing and music. After this ceremony, the couple cannot see each other until the wedding day.
The Dholki is another traditional Pakistani wedding custom. This is another party filled with food, singing and dancing. This is the start of the full marriage event and it is often accompanied by drum beating and other kinds of entertainment. At this event, the groom wears a white outfit and a yellow scarf and the bride wears a yellow outfit.
Henna, or mehndi, is one of the most recognisable features of Pakistani weddings for Britons. This is the most anticipated part of the wedding. During this party, the bride receives henna on her hands and feet as her female relatives bless her and dance around her. A dinner is also organised, but the bride must sit quietly and hide behind her veil instead of celebrating with the rest of the party.
The official ceremony
When it is time for the official ceremony, the Nikah, the family members of the groom take part in Baraat, or the groom’s procession. The groom and his family proceed to the venue of the wedding where they are greeted by the bride’s family. During the Nikah, the official marriage contract is signed by the bride and groom and witnessed by their fathers. During this time, passages are read from the Quran by the imam. Then, both the bride and the groom must accept the wedding proposal three times for the wedding to be solemnized.
After the Nikah, food is served and the bride and groom get to celebrate together for the first time. The groom’s family pass out sweets and wedding favours.
The final two ceremonies are more private affairs. During the ‘rukhsati,’ the bride says her goodbyes to her parents before she leaves for her groom’s home. This is one of the most emotional parts of the ceremony as one family loses one member and another family gains one.
Finally, the bride removes her veil and shows the groom her face for the first time. This custom is called the Mooh Dikhai. The newlyweds then give each other gifts and each share a piece of a date. The groom will usually mysteriously lose a shoe and the bride’s family will demand money for its safe return.
The families then celebrate at the walima. The walima is the huge party thrown in honour of the wedding. A feast is served and the party features all of the most expensive things that the family can afford.
It is worth noting that Pakistani weddings take traditions from Islam, Hinduism and local customs to create a dynamic and colourful celebration.
3.4 Nigerian Wedding Customs
Nigerian wedding customs will often depend on whether the family comes from an urban area or a rural area.However, many families will have several customs in common no matter where they are from. One of the biggest differences between urban and rural marriages is that urbanites are more likely to date and find their own spouses, while people in rural areas are more likely to participate in arranged marriages.
Introduction ceremony
Regardless of how the couple meets, the families of the couple will get to know each other better through an introduction ceremony. This usually happens in the bride’s family home. At this ceremony, the groom’s family will officially request the bride’s hand in marriage. The marriage is then negotiated through a dowry and other incentives. This ceremony usually takes place only a couple of days prior to the wedding.
The night before the wedding
The night before the wedding, the families celebrate an engagement ceremony. Once again, the groom’s family travel to visit the bride’s family at their home. When the engagement is confirmed, the families then celebrate with invited guests. Food and drink are provided by the groom’s family. They also offer the bride a suitcase filled with clothes, shoes, bags and jewellery. There is plenty of celebration with eating and drinking. After the ceremony, the bride begins to prepare for the wedding at her family’s house.
The wedding day
In some customs, the wedding day begins with the older women in the bride’s family helping her to get ready. Some women will borrow fabrics and styles from India for their wedding day. She may also don a headpiece as well as jewellery, like necklaces and ankle bracelets. The bride’s father will then accompany her to the venue of the wedding.
After the wedding
After the wedding, a large reception is thrown. This party can last until the early hours of the morning as friends, family and invited guests eat, drink and dance in celebration of the newlyweds.
After the party, the bride will go home to her parent’s house to prepare to leave for her new husband’s home. She changes out of her wedding clothes and is then picked up by her husband and his family to begin their married life.
3.5 Polish Wedding Customs
Poland is a predominantly Catholic country.Although fewer young people practice Catholicism now than their parents and grandparents did, many Catholic traditions have remained in the wedding ceremony. As a result, most people still hold traditional weddings in a Catholic church.
The Polish Catholic wedding ceremony is similar to Catholic ceremonies in the rest of Europe.
The priest will take the congregation through a liturgy that is within the teachings of the church. The vows often remain very traditional, even if the couple has no intention of honouring some of the vows that are more outdated. For example, the bride will still pledge her obedience to her husband, but this does not mean that she will act subservient in the relationship itself.
Polish weddings are much smaller than weddings in many other cultures. In fact, many couples will host a ceremony that will include only their family members, intimate friends and the two people who will witness their marriage.
The bridal parties are also smaller inside. Although a bride may choose to have only a couple of attendants, this is a reflection of tradition rather than her social life.
Poles have several superstitions that are often played out in their wedding ceremonies.
For example, a bride will never wear open-toed shoes because they symbolise the loss of wealth in the future. A bride will also never wear genuine pearls because they represent misery. Poles often marry in months that include an ‘r’ in the (Polish) name, like March, June, August, September, October and December. This is because it is believed that these months will supply lucky for the marriage.
After the ceremony is over, the newlyweds will leave the church and be showered in coins, which represent the hope of prosperity in the future. They will then join their friends and family for their wedding reception. The party begins when the newlyweds arrive at the party and are presented with bread and salt by their parents. These are symbolic gifts that send hopeful messages with the couple into the future.
Shortly after their arrival, one of the fathers will give the newlyweds a glass of vodka and a glass of water. The bride must then choose from the glasses, not knowing which one is the alcohol. After the toast is made, the couple break the glasses in hope of earning more good luck in their lives together.
The typical Polish wedding reception can last around 12 hours.
During this time, the guests feast on as much food as they can handle and are often served four or five hot entrees. The feast also includes pastries, cake and appetizers that also float around the room.
All this food is supplemented with a huge amount of alcohol. Vodka flows without end throughout the party and it helps keep everyone hungry and happy. When the party reaches midnight, it is time for another tradition. Oczepiny is the moment when the bride removes her veil and leaves her youth behind for her new married life. This is celebrated in even the most modern weddings, even if some of the details are changed. Many modern women have ditched the traditional parts of this ritual for tossing their veil into the air for the single women in the crowd to try to catch.
While the average Polish wedding lasts until the early hours of the morning, some wedding celebrations can go on for as many as four days. If they do, the coming days are filled with more food, more vodka and more celebration.
Module Summary
As you can see, many of the wedding customs from around the world are a synthesis of traditional culture and new modern traditions. Many old customs are still frequently performed, but are given an updated twist. This is what makes weddings around the world such beautiful and happy affairs.
In most countries and cultures, weddings are a time of great change and great celebration. They are almost always family affairs and are usually accompanied by huge amounts of food, games, and fun. Learning to understand and appreciate where these different customs come from can help make you a better wedding planner because you will understand that beneath these different traditions lies the common desire for love, prosperity and happiness.[Tweet “I just completed Module 3 of the Wedding Planning Course”]
